.:.MiRRoR of mY heArt.:.

We were merely people who work for the same company; she was a familiar face, mostly to be seen outside during fifteen minute breaks, indulging her cancer cells, while I, a reformed nicotine-dependent (ehem ehem six months na po! Bow), would simply go out to savor the company of friends who are still into the habit.

A new project launched by their department paved the way for a formal introduction. During the one-hour discussion, my shoulders shook violently with mirth as we shared funny stories here and there, of course in relation to the project at hand. We soon found out we had a lot of common friends, including a former agent of mine who is now very much busy with her new business, where she - my new friend, is a partner. I did consider their service, I still am. Then all of a sudden, while we were talking on the phone, she asked me a question I’ve been asking myself for sometime now. And I know she could sense how I’m feeling. She confirmed my thoughts without me having to utter a word. I know that she means well and that it would be right to listen to what she has to say. After all, her years have made her wise.

I then went to their pod to say goodbye for the day, when she showed a blog entry she wrote for me.

Ever After

No colored texts, no outlined stresses or phrases written out in bold.

Love is beauty in its utmost simplicity. So gentle in fact, that it comes with the softest of whispers. Yet so strong, that nothing can mar it. Not brute strength, not even sheer will. It is a fiery passion masked in feathery wisps of sighs. It is the caress of a breath against your neck, butterfly kisses against your cheek... sending shivers up your spine.

Laughter... and tears... but tears of pure happiness. How you would feel your chest tighten at the sight of real beauty.

It is the overwhelming urge to give, on your own terms, not yearning to be loved back... but being happy to simply be able to keep. It is gratitude for the bonus, that they would feel the same way.

It is the miracle that you share... everyday and every waking moment. Being attuned to each other's heartbeat as you are to the ticking of the clock.

Indescribable, determined, unweathered, strong. Love is constant.

It is a quiet knowing, that this lifetime will end... exactly as how we felt in the beginning.

(new friends are still friends... and if we can spare them from the hurt we will... but if they must, then we shall let them... for their stars will take them where their happiness has been decreed.)

honey 4/20

I was desperately trying to hold back my tears and when I finished her entry. And when I looked at her, I knew she understood completely, she just showed me a mirror of my heart. She didn’t say another word, she just smiled and we walked out of the room - I, to go home after a long tiring day, she on the other hand, to feed her cancer cells once again.

.:.RaNdoM thOuGhtS.:.

I have shunned away from the blogging circle for a while. Not that I have totally disappeared and have isolated myself from the blogging public, perhaps it will just be more apt to say that I have chosen to keep some things just to a selected few – yes, the bloggistas.

Warning: this entry may cause nausea to anyone who is very particular with sentence construction and political correctness. Hehe den you’re one of those peeps! Oh and so is aRiane. Makes me think of one of my high school friends – Julie, who happens to be the editor-in-chief of our paper back then, if ever she chance upon my page, she will probably kill me. Man my writing skills went down the drain.

So where have I really been for the past months? Well, there hasn’t been any addition to my routine it’s just that I sort of didn’t feel like blogging lately. I guess kicked in again. What I mean is my tendency to dislike something that has all of sudden becomes an “in” thing. I mentioned previously that I don’t like conforming. Really! I normally would go for something that not a lot of people are into. When I started blogging, very few are into it. Now, everyone seems to have a blog thru friendster and thru Y!360. Which reminds me, I need to change blog soon! why? I like the anonymity and now, well... well... i kinda have to get my mouth shut.

on the side, i thought i'll be extremely happy when this happens or it is actually happening. now, im not sure. someone told me it could be a classic case of cold feet and i hope that's just it. i hope she's right, otherwise i would hate myself forever for ignoring whatever it is that im feeling right now that tells me there is another way. im sorry, i know most of you do not understand what i am talking about and i have to say sorry again to you guys as i do not like to elaborate on that. as i have mentioned too many people are snooping on my blog (hehe its a sign im getting popular) even people who are gutsy enough to leave nasty messages but are a bunch of cowards hiding behind pseudonames!

well, i have my new blog set up. it'll just be a matter of time before i move to that new home. the lucky ones will be invited. hehe

sadly, i missed out on God's best.