work overload...


sometimes i wish i just applied for trainer. im so dead tired with my work. but then again when i see my first wave of agents who are now all transition coaches, i cant help but feel proud about them. also i had this one slow agent from wave 3.2 and i even gave her a written warning for forgetting to log out of her phone. when i issued the memo she told me how she felt demotivated and the fact that she was then thinking that she is not cut out for the job. i never really thought that i got her to change her mind. then last week ekaye (co-tl of mine) gave me this really huge plastic bag of blue magic with a huge heart pillow. apparently it came from that former agent of mine. according to the card i was able to inspire her to work harder and prove herself. well, i must say im so touched with the gesture. on rare occasions like that, i feel really rewarded.

belated happy hearts day to everyone!!!

beach pictures...


we have a couple of them, but then again since its in my operations managers digicam, we kinda have to wait for her to download it. in the mean time here's two from babe's cell phone.








*****


ill have work again tomorrow. why do we get only 2 restdays huh?

finally im going home. after speding 14hours in the office, geez im truly looking forward to going home.


my week ended on a positive note for some bit of good news. my baby picked me up at the office. he spent saturday night at his mom's place in craig dapitan. then they (his mom, his nieces and his sister and brother-in-law, together with kuya ocal and his kids) went to greenhills to attend a childrens party. its his cousin's kid's birthday party. apparently, its a family gathering so he saw most of his kins there. his aunt tita dade, who is very very dear to me, found out that we were back together was so happy according to babe. she was so happy that they went home early (they live in biñan) that they went home a bit early so as she could give babe a free ride since babe had to pick me up here at the office.


then after work, we went to glorietta to have some pictures printed and to have dinner. i already gave him my valentines gift which is a complete 1-4 season of csi dvds. he was so happy. and i'd have to say that i am as well, since he's starting to really think about the future. he mentioned that he wanted a house. when he said that i had to clarify whether he wanted to move to a new house/apartment since he doesnt like his housemates now or he wanted to buy a house. and much to my amazement he is now thinking of buying a house. it made me smile, not because im thinking that it would be for us but mainly because he's starting to care more about the future. well of course its a plus factor as well.


but another thing really warmed my heart over the weekend. may be id blog about it some other time. in the mean time im outta here folks.

last night in the silence of the room, my dam of reticence broke down. i sobbed like a little girl who cant comforted. then i realized i was no longer crying for what happened yesterday, i was crying because of so many things. i was crying for something i have no name for. i miss talking to God, i miss telling him about my day, i miss praying. might sound totally baffling to some people but yes, i do pray. Looking back now, i know i never would've made it through last year without praying. im guilty because now that things are quite the way i have always prayed it would be, i am forgetting Him. Praying was the only reason im still sane after all i've been through last year.


I guess God was telling me to pay attention to Him. reminds me of how much i hated those some forgettable friends who come to you when they need you but then leave you again once they've got what they wanted or what they needed. Ironic as it is I am that way when it comes to God.


I know nothing is for sure and as of late He's been telling me not to put my trust in people that way i wont be disappointed. i have this feeling in my heart that i need to make a decision so as to correct the whole situation, my situation. but i know that doing such a thing would kill me as it would be extremely difficult to handle. ive been trying to ask God for some other ways to correct the situation but i have a feeling He is testing me. I hope I'd have the courage to follow Him.

and so it begins...

been trying hard to hold my tears since i left for the office.

wanna be embraced, be comforted.

im feeling it again, somehow no matter how hard i try to convince myself of my worth, this feeling will find its way to me. may be it is the truth anyway, that i have no worth. may be i deserve to feel this way. i know im not the kindest person but im sure im not the most evil one.

but may be i deserve to feel this way. may be...

-old flame-

my old flame = writing

cLick heRe!

on the last name field, type "lazaro"

on the first name field, type "erlyn"

just wanna share with you guys


*****


went out last night with my former churchmates, including that old friend. i kinda felt awkward since we were with their uncled (28ish), his cousins 4, including my ex and his wife, and that old friend and his wife. good thing, their other cousin - who happens to be the most sensible amongst them all and the closest to me - was there together with a third cousin of mine, yeye. another thing that eased my anxiety is the fact that my friend - bob, who is now working at ibm plaza came to see me, he has work but he went down thrice to join us.



somehow i am also flattered, talk about self confidence and the abundance of it. well its overflowing last night. when i saw my ex and his wife, i was baffled. migosh he dumped me for that girl who looks like she's from a remote province where civilization is a word non-existent in their vocabulary. all the more that i am puzzled coz whenever i'd ask his cousin before if the girl was prettier than i am, he wont give me an answer. now at least i got my answer. then when i saw jon's wife all the more that i felt glamorous and pretty. initially i was under the impression that she is pretty as i saw in her friendster acct but then again, i guess its just her make up on the pictures, she looks much older in person.



we left eastwood almost 2hours after midnight and their uncle was kind enough to drop me off at ortigas where i went to our company site there to meet up with coocoo and to give him a quarter pounder meal and a large fries for his one hour break. i made the mistake of going down on the main entrance as it was closed for the night, i shouldve went down on the other side as i want to formally introduce my baby to them. well talk about showing off my man. my ex would be so pale in comparison to him, not to mention that my baby is not a play girl, is very intelligent (hehe soon to be ops mgr - keep ur fingers crossed), and not to mention tall (6 flat) and much more handsome than my ex. hmmmm... may be next time.



but most of all its not the fact that i am prettier than their wives that gave me a high last night. its seeing my baby again after a whole week and receiving a new prada (hoy orig un ah! that's one reason he's broke now) wallet from him and most of all seeing him beaming at the mere sight of me. =)